Is anyone else wondering what you might look like now if you’d chosen a wholesome (by which I mean lame) youth versus adventurous and fancy free? By which I mean a bar-hopping, sun junky who enjoyed herself a cigarette now and then, but mostly a lot? The truth is, the cosmetic industry capitalizes on our... Continue Reading →
Anywhere in America, but actually in my house in Longmont, CO Very rarely, come September, do parents get asked to write an essay titled "What I did this summer." We should, though, because it's chock-full of activity. We are the arbiters of boredom, purveyors of suck, suppliers of lame and basically, morning until night taking... Continue Reading →
The Mean Streets of Longmont, CO Distaste is what someone might feel for a certain floral scent or vinyl upholstery. Rap music makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Perhaps it's just the wrong side of melodious for my taste. Maybe it's because the subject matter has me on the edge of my... Continue Reading →
Boulder, CO by dana gonzalez The other day, a colleague at work asked me, did I know the formula for the volume of a cone. We don't work at Coldstone. My gut, though, told me "two scoops." Not what he was looking for, but if I worked in a cone manufacturing plant where we manufactured... Continue Reading →
Longmont, CO Six. Six french fries sprawled indulgently on a dinner plate, a short distance away from an Olympic-sized pool of ketchup, the lot of which is swathed in plastic wrap and sitting front and center in my refrigerator. Whether it's the ketchup or the fries we're trying to preserve, is anyone's guess. Maybe it's... Continue Reading →
Longmont, CO As we prepared to embrace 2019, my husband and I looked around the house with an objective eye, evaluating the potential contents of our upcoming 12 months’ “Apocalist.” This is our revolving litany of things undone, or partially done, some of which are highly necessary – a working furnace from November through April,... Continue Reading →
Longmont, CO While not a football nube – I did spend four years at CU’s Folsom Field swilling beer and making lewd comments about “tight ends,” after all – and despite the passion of my youth, I am not well-versed in the game. My learning curve dips actually, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I... Continue Reading →
My son, at a mature 11, has a more evolved understanding of the value of money and knows that it doesn’t grow on trees. It grows on Mommies . . .
6th grade, Longmont, CO Anyone who’s ever done math homework or helped someone else do math homework has probably thought “There is absolutely no earthly reason for people to divide fractions!” I certainly don't need to know how to figure out how many cookies some child got in a made-up story problem. The answer is... Continue Reading →
The Overhead Bin 